How did we get to the point where people are expected to have mental problems or screwed up backgrounds and we are supposed to manage our lives around them? How did it get so bad that things that would once put you in lockup at Bethlehem are now commonplace?

This is just an observation I've always wondered about. Too often in the past I felt like I was expected to deal with someone's major personality flaws and accept them without question as part of the package. Very few people take responsibility for the own problems and instead expect them to be overlooked. I have problems, we all have problems, and I'll deal with yours if there is something between us but now it seems too many people wear them on their sleeve like a badge of pride and expect the world to accomodate them rather than vice versa.

I'm waiting until C gets off work so she can spend the night. It's gotten to the point where we hate to go a day without seeing each other, which is strange considering where I was a month ago. Now I'm at the great spot where you want to be together all the time and you make each other late for work and you begin scheduling your lives around getting together.

One other thing- I've never liked sleeping with people. Sex of course I love, but actually sleeping with someone has always been difficult for me. Maybe it's shallow or selfish but even when I'm dead asleep I'm never comfortable knowing someone is next to me. Maybe it's because I don't really trust anyone but my memories of sleeping with past girlfriends always end up with me fatigued from lack of sleep or with a cold due to the sheets being taken or stiff muscles from being cramped from sleeping on the edge of the bed. Now I feel strange when I'm not sleeping with C and sometimes pretend she's laying with me in the dark and I can't see her. With all the shit I've been through, it's a welcome change. Our bodies fit perfectly together.

I saw Billy Idol at the Congress Theater last night. I bought the ticket so I could finally see my first show in Chicago and thought it would be great to see him. I heard his shows were good, though I expected a lot of his old eighties stuff. I would be disappointed if it wasn't, actually. Do people really go to hear his new material?
He didn't disappoint. There were many fists in the air that night. The crowd was a strange mix of old school punkers, mtv geeks, middle aged couples, jocks and their makeup obsessed dates.

"Oh my god! It's, like, Billy Idol! Woooooo! This is soooooooo retro isn't it? I feel like I'm, like, two years old!"

Great show though. The band seemed to have fun and Billy was a rock star up there, jumping around, posing, hamming it up. None of that sanctimonious bullshit that you see too often. Just good, loud music you know the words to. He played all his crowdpleasers; Rebel Yell, Flesh for Fantasy, Eyes Without a Face, Cradle of Love and threw in Van Halen's Jump. Has there been a revival for Billy Idol? Big crowd there.

I hope I'm not wrong, he deserves it with the show last night. They were taping for the dvd too, so I may be seen in households around the world.

Some shitty photos from my cell phone;




His trademarked curled lip/pumping fist

Steve Stevens