I was considering starting another page or a blog to promote my book and talk about the history behind the story and the writing process but that would probably take away from the actual writing of it. Besides, I should probably get an agent first before going the self promotion route.

What does everyone think?

anyone?

Strange how things look so different once they're behind you. I miss Boston, not all of it and I don't want to go back but I find myself thinking back to that city. I miss South Boston because things seemed so much simpler then. I remember having a lot of shit to deal with there so it wasn't all that different, it was tighter and familiar. I still feel like a stranger here. I probably will be for a while. I'm still washing the taste of KT out of my mouth.

I hate what's happened to C. Maybe during the week away in Maine she got used to not having me around and hasn't shown much interest in bringing me back into her life. We left on great terms and I believe she's been busy but the two times we've talked it seemed like even talking with me was a chore. We made plans for sometime this week but only as an afterthought. I'm not sure if it will ever happen.

We weren't dating and I know she sees several people, I just realized how much I enjoyed having her in my life. So many people around her are these emotionally different or broken people that they take up so much of her attention. I don't feel near what I used to so maybe I'm not that important anymore.
For a while it was just her and I and then people started to slowly creep in. I miss her. I want to see her again.

I don't mind working but I hate waking up early. Once I'm moving everything seems ok. It's good to be back at work, rush hour doesn't seem so miserable here as it did in Boston.

The new place is very low key; jeans and t shirts are common though I noticed no one had any problem working, a good thing since I just wanted to immerse myself in it and not spend the day chatting with anyone.
As is my custom, I was hit with exhaustion a couple hours after coming it. I could feel myself dropping off but fought it. At one job I fell asleep during the interview and still managed to get hired. I got enough sleep so it shouldn't be a problem but damn, what I wouldn't do to get back to bed.

I didn't know anything about the area so at lunch I stayed in, promising myself a nice fat pizza if I made it through the day without problems. I got restless and, as everyone disappeared to eat, I began writing on Post Its, picking up where I left off in my book. For once I was hit with tons of ideas. In the past, while in the drudgery of the work day there seemed to be some sort of wall that kept me from really putting all the connections together. It's been with me for what seems like forever, I could never identify it but now it seems as if it's disappearing. My mind is sharper, I'm more active, able to take on more than I ever did and doing it flawlessly.

For the past year or so it looked like it was coming apart and now I'm seeing all the things I've always wanted to do but could never put together. I'm getting so much done every day and I'm not burdened by overthinking everything. It just comes out of me like I've always had it. Lunch for me was filling up little yellow pieces of paper to add to my book when I got home.

I categorized resumes, looking at everyone's PhD, MA Ed, RSVP and how much they've accomplished; grants gotten, papers written, books published. Got some good ideas to spruce up my resume. Very few things are permanent, most especially jobs. To stay active you've got to keep looking, going to the better offer. I'm sure with my qualifications I could ask for a much higher price next time and a better position.

But now I'm enjoying my pizza...

Sitting here listen to the comforting hiss of the radiator. So glad the heat's on. Now I can just hibernate and write.

Work tomorrow. It will be good to get back to it. I've accomplished a lot, more than I ever planned on my time off and now I'll get more done now that I'm working.

Got in touch with C. She's been even busier than before I left. We planned to meet this week to go to a show. We'll see how it goes...

It's becoming harder and harder to deal with the smell of smoke. I used to have no tolerance for it at all but since moving here it hasn't bothered me that much. Now my roommate's constant hacking and smoking at every opportunity is really getting to me.

Bitch bitch.

I'm buying things one at a time for my own place. At one point I had enough for a two bedroom house; two beds, couch, tv, furniture, bookshelves, kitchen utensils, pots and pans, sheets, towels, etc but we all know what happened then. If I moved now I wouldn't even have a bed.

It's not such a bad setup here and, as roommates go, I could do a lot worse. I just want to live on my own. Moving in here was just a last minute precaution I ended up falling back on.

I've become very reclusive and have kept to myself because I don't want to hear him talk about my laundry and how he does his every weekend. Never mind that he smells like an ashtray.

Out with this woman, not really a date but kinda. She's not my type but it's something.

She's bemoaning her marriage ending. My response; "Oh, you're married?"

Turns out, she is but it's ending soon. Why? Because of infidelity. Not his, but hers. When I pressed her further, she told me it "just happened" because he wasn't giving her enough attention. I credit her for at least being honest but how do these things "just happen?" Aren't there other methods for getting attention? Why don't people take responsibility for these things anymore? How hard is it to stay faithful? If your partner is not giving you the attention you want it's because he/she isn't receiving the attention they want. Marriage isn't a stagnant thing, it's something you always have to work on.

Needless to say, I won't be seeing her again....

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Wait, I just remembered another incident.

Second date with a woman (yes, I date a lot. It's a way of meeting people in a city where I don't know anyone.) and she's telling me about her past dating history. I was pretty shocked by the extent of it so when I asked if she was tested she just laughed; "Of course, I'm clean and don't have AIDS."

"What else don't you have?"

"Well I have herpes...."

After reconsidering the definition of clean I told her I wasn't comfortable seeing her again, her only response; "Why? Was I too old for you?"

I'm not going to report on every date I have, I don't want this place to turn into that but I couldn't let those slip by without mentioning something. It's a scary dating world out there.

Start my new position as an editor on Monday.

About to start a new chapter in my book as well.

Things are moving along.

Turns out more people were reading this site than I thought.

I like this time of year, the scent in the air, the gloomy evenings and the chill in the air. I was dreading it because I didn't have the wardrobe for it but now wearing a broken in extra large hoodie, with the radiator hissing behind me, I can enjoy it. I've heard the winters in this city can be brutal but many people I talk to say they're not so bad. They couldn't be any worse than some of the ones in Boston though. It will be my first winter here since the year of my birth.

Life is changing faster and faster, it's one thing I've noticed. Already I feel a lot has changed since the week before I left for Maine. I left after spending most of the night with C and we've hardly spoken since. We left on a very good note which makes it all the stranger. She has a very time consuming job so I'm used to being at the whim of her schedule though we usually connect by phone a few times a week regardless. We've talked twice, once a few days after I returned to let her know I was around and once when she got off work and called me. As usual she was tired and going right home but wouldn't be able to meet this week. In the past few weeks her parents have been by, her best friend moved in with her and her sister moved to town to start college, all of which takes up her time. I'm sure we'll get together again, though I'm not sure when. This has just happened to me too much and it sucks, I hate growing apart from friends.