We're two very different people, which makes our relationship fragile at times. As a teenager I was very different from the type of son he wanted. In those years I was going through excessive drama and angst as is common for kids that age. Both my parents, especially my dad, were stricter than most parents, at least in my estimation. At that time I continually heard that I would appreciate my parents', particularly my father's, actions when I got older.

This always irritated me, as it implied that I wasn't aware of what I was doing and I was just a bad kid. I knew my father was strict, I also knew he had problems controlling his anger and would overcompensate in many ways. I'm sure he had an idea of how he wanted his family to be and when it didn't turn out that way he got upset. My brothers and I are all very different people and none of us were the ideal son that I'm sure he wanted though I was the most difficult.

I had no interest in sports and what did interest me bothered him. He didn't like my music tastes, my friends or my sense of humor. We had a strained relationship, both of us pulling away whenever we were reminded of our differences. I just wanted to graduate college and move away to start my own life.

When my parents divorced and my mother died my father probably believed it would lead to more resentment from me. I know it was my cynicism that stopped me from thinking that way. What did you expect for getting married? Over the years my parents grew farther apart as well. With all the kids grown up they seemed to have little in common but, because of the circumstances, most people blamed my father. I did not. While I feel my mother is blameless, I don't put much faith in marriage and the fact that they managed to last so long in spite of everything is a feat.

Growing up my dad gave me everything I needed. I never went hungry and he gave me an excellent education. I see a lot of people that were given more than they needed growing up and it didn't make them better adults. For the most part they are spoiled, difficult to be around and unhappy. Too many people have personality problems due to their upbringing that make their life as an adult even more difficult.

I won't say my father was perfect; because of what I went through when I was younger I am much more violent, distrusting and angrier than most. I don't see these as flaws, since it has helped me more than it has hurt me. It made me tougher and more self reliant, which is a problem for most people.

There's a lot to be said for the few years of our childhood and how much of an affect it has on us as adults. I'm very much a composite of both my parents. From my mother I got my love of music and books. I got my compassion and curiosity from her. My father gave me my sense of practicality and my drive. He taught me how to compromise and work with others based on his efforts to get along with me. He was devoted to his family and his sons as I am with all those around me.

He had a difficult time being a father, just as every man does. He made mistakes but has done more for his kids than most fathers do. He was the coach of my little league teams and was always involved with us growing up. Even though he didn't agree with many of my decisions or my interests, he still encouraged them.

We're apart now and on a good year we may see each other more than a couple times. I don't believe what everyone said, that I would be thankful for what my father did when I got older, but I see a lot of good that he did. The mistakes he made inadvertently made me a better person. One thing I can say is he did all a father should do and that's enough.

My father had a more difficult childhood than I did. My grandfather was tougher on him than he was on me and less of a father than he is. He went to Vietnam and came back and worked hard to get the life he wanted for his kids. All his mistakes are far less than his good points. I know now he has a lot of them. I worry about him more than I thought I would. I feel bad leaving him alone. I know he misses his kids and perhaps being married.

Everyone wants the approval of their parents. Women have more difficulty with their mothers as men have difficulty with their fathers. My relationship with him was worse than most but not nearly as bad as it could have been. I used to regret a lot and wish things had been different but I know if they were I wouldn't be where or who I am.

I look most like my mother but somewhat like my father. We share the same build, however. Our hands are identical.