I wasn't sure what to write today. I considered discussing where I was, where everyone was when the World Trade Center was attacked. At the time I was asleep, though I wasn't surprised at what had happened. Since I was a child I remember worrying about the constant war in the Middle East and how everyone seemed so unconcerned by it. While the rest of the world sweats, waits and taps its foot nervously everyone here seemed oblivious. They aren't oblivious anymore. We have a serious issue to address and now it's being addressed incorrectly.

People were shocked and truly surprised that such a thing could happen. I was shocked that so many people were unaware that such a thing could happen. It was inevitable. This world is headed towards some horrible conclusion and so many people seem unaware and indifferent.

There are so many facets to this- the changed world and how this country is viewed, false nationalism, but what disturbs me is how this event has become another product, a badge of honor for so many to wear and align themselves with. People try to relate to it through some nebulous connection- "my old employer's brother's friend's son almost went on the first plane. It's fate that kept him off."

It has been manipulated and celebrated in so many ways. TV movies have been made to allow people to feel better about themselves by showing emotion and inwardly being happy they are not involved but making themselves feel as if they were. Opposing politicians use it to bolster their issues and slander their competition. If you don't agree you may as well have been the ones with the boxcutters, right? It has become some sort of national obsession. Everyone has fallen in line and parroted the same soundbites to throw the increased scrutiny off of themselves and the danger has increased, the scrutiny has increased, the gap between the classes has increased and control has definitely increased.

I'm not as concerned with foreign powers and the threat they offer but of ourselves and what is to become of us. The world is in transition and will have difficulty progressing through it. We must find our way to the next step before we slip and lose what we have. We have the ability to be more than what humans could have ever imagined. With the knowledge and progress we have made we would be able to relieve ourselves of disease, increase human potential and explore our universe further, attaining knowledge we never could have dreamed. We have technology so brilliant yet we spend hours watching tv, eating fake foods, poisoning our minds and our bodies because that's all we can do.

Those that know this want us to be this way. This keeps us suggestible and easy to control. We are told what to watch, what to hear, how to hear it, what to eat, even how to think. Most don't even care. Life is easier this way.

On September 11th, 2001 I had a great hope. For once I thought finally mankind might wake up and realize all they had and maybe value it. In the aftermath of the attacks and the hundreds of funerals that followed I thought maybe it would start them thinking. Pain is hard. Loss is hard. I know what those things are and each time I am hurt I use it to learn and better myself. September 11th had an unendurable pain for so many people I had hoped some good would have come of it. The scales had to be balanced. For a wonderful few days I thought they would be. People were nicer to strangers, they helped each other out. It wasn't much but it was a start. People were coming together to help each other, which seemed so rare. It helped ease the pain.

Now that is over and people have gone past complacency to dissension. Everyone is suspect, everyone is responsible. The world has gone to war that will never be finished and will bankrupt our nation. Jobs are disappearing and the divide between the lessers and the greaters has turned gigantic. People die and we can only laugh or feel they have in someway earned it. This frees us from feeling like it could happen to us.

We are much worse than we were five years ago.

the government is corrupt and we're on so many drugs with the radio on and the curtains drawn
we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine and the machine is bleeding to death

the sun has fallen down and the billboards are all leering and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

it went like this: the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble and pulled out their hair

the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards everything washed in a thin orange haze

i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful --these are truly the last days"
you grabbed my hand and we fell into it like a daydream or a fever

we woke up one morning and fell a little further down --for sure it's the valley of death

i open up my wallet and it's full of blood

- from "Dead Flag Blues" by Godspeed You! Black Emperor