One thing I've overlooked through all this is how much my body has changed. I used to be very muscular, almost to the point of being a regular at the gym. Now I'm slightly less strong but my muscles are compact, not as big but I feel stronger. I'm stiff all the time from exercising and I don't take hours out of my day to keep in shape like I used to.

I woke up Sunday and my mind wandered to KT. I wasn't longing for her, I was just looking over the whole situation. For the first time I seemed to see things from a different perspective. The way she acted and how she treated me was really shitty and all that I ever felt for her has turned to anger. I don't have any enemies in the world anymore but I can honestly say I detest her. I don't want to spend too much time on this, I just feel like this is the final chapter.

Unfortunately her actions have really colored how I look at women. That will pass but it gave me a wake up call about marriage. I now know I will never get married. I see so many men and women with such fucked up views on marriage and how disposable it is that the divorce rate in this country will skyrocket in the coming years. People are too selfish, too greedy, too warped from childhood, too emotionally selfish to really take it seriously. I trust very few women. Thankfully, I have no desire to ever get married. I feel lonely sometimes but am more independent than most anyone I know. When I think of how miserable I was in some relationships, the happier I am that I'm single. I have a lot to accomplish on my own and I can't do it always looking after a woman that needs someone to look after her like KT did.

Funny thing is, something tells me she will call eventually and when that happens we are going to have a long talk.