I've felt this more and more. I know I've said this before but when I think about living back in Boston it feels like another person. It sounds cliche and I haven't changed that much but it's true. I feel very different now in a lot of ways.
In the past I felt like I was cursed in some weird way. I would make dumb mistakes without even realizing it, screw something up by accident and forget things. A lot of people took that as indifference or stupidity so I began to think it was that too. I knew I was smart yet I kept making so many stupid mistakes; at work, on my own, with women. I've been trying to pinpoint why exactly I acted that way and do whatever I could to change it. I knew if I got over it things would get better, I'd find a job I was better suited for and maybe live a life without so much stress and worry.
I felt like the synapses just weren't firing. I'd fall back into the same patterns without even realizing it. Lately though, I haven't noticed that at all. It's strange, I had strange idiosyncracies that I haven't caught myself doing at all. My mind seems much clearer and I find myself working through things without a problem. I pick things up much more quickly and don't forget them. I've been much more confident. I used to get so worked up over things now it takes a lot to bother me. Instead I find a way around it or the easiest way to deal with it.
I'm not sure what I did or how, I think the week in Maine had something to do with it. I know what I've been dealing with in the last few months has but I feel so relieved. I'm getting so much more done, I'm writing better (and a lot more often), and I don't see anything bothering me now.
I'm afraid I'll curse this by even mentioning it, but today I realized what I've been sensing for a while and had to write it down. I'm thinking much more clearly. I remember thinking in the past that I just couldn't get over some things, I couldn't concentrate or didn't want to, now it's no problem. Everything seems to fit now, I can see how to better my career and I'm more comfortable with everything. I swear it feels like my IQ just got boosted a few points. I was never dumb, but now I feel much smarter.
I hope that doesn't seem conceited, it's not meant to be. It's just something I can't ignore anymore.

If losing all my shit, moving cross country and losing what could have been (but most likely wasn't) a great relationship is what it took for this to happen then it was all worth it.

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Some guy came up to me on the sidewalk and started polishing my shoes. I wanted to keep walking but was afraid I'd kick him in the face. Is this a new way to beg? People aren't cleaning windshields anymore?

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Look what I found on Boners. I used to walk by this sign every day.