They were unable to fix my computer. It was brought back here and I was advised to call Dell for a replacement. I did and spent about three hours tonight on the phone with someone that pretty much revived what I thought was a dead horse. It still has a few major glitches but I'm getting sent some stuff that should be a big help. It should be back up to speed in the future. Meanwhile I have everything on the hard drive saved on a disc so I can use it on future computers. I ended up not deleting anything. I was told everything on here was erased but it wasn't...

I've had it with C. As far as I'm concerned I don't want to see her again. For the past few weeks I've been dealing and scheduling time to see her. Most times I just get to have her come over, tired and pissed off from work, where she comes and crashes on my bed. Saturday night she came over and bitches at me, insults me and criticizes me. For a while I wondered what I did and then I thought about everything. It really smacks of so many past relationships- Kelly, KT...I see myself getting taken advantage of again. I wait on her and do all I can to make her feel comfortable only to not have her give a shit. She said I lost my chance and that's fine. It was over long ago. I really doubt she gave any thought to me as anything, even a friend for quite a while. I've got better things to do that spend my time with a woman that treats me like shit. I've been through that before.

Of course she's really the only person I talk to besides my roommate and people at work but I can manage. It's better than putting up with that.

I told her about this page long ago, even showed it to her but it's very unlikely she'll see this. When she went on all she wanted to do was find the parts I'd written about her. When I did she got frustrated and said she didn't have time for it. So that's that.

I got a tv and hooked up my playstation which, considering that it's burned and covered in smoke, is amazing that it still works. I got some new games, including Guitar Hero II which should provide entertainment now that I am lacking in companionship.



I had a long weekend which inspired me to get my PS2 out and wrote a long post about what I felt and how down I was but the computer shut off before I could save it. It's probably best.