One thing the past few months has taught me is how to be a better boyfriend. After all the shit I went through a few months ago one thing I'm proud of is that I didn't give up and stayed true to everything I said and treated her well no matter what happened. When it was over at least I could take pride in what I did and I kept it up until the end. The fact that it ended that way was her decision and I'm glad I saw the mistakes so I can know what not to do and who I'm compatible with.
The last few dates I've had have been surreal and it got me thinking. We're really a generation that's gotten completely self involved and if we don't get immediate gratification then it's not worth it. We've gotten to the drive thrus of dating.
I'm not entirely innocent either. This site itself is a prime example of self involvement but when I think about dating it just upsets me. As much as I talk about how I don't need a girlfriend and I prefer to be on my own, it's not entirely true. Cliche as it may sound, I've learned I'm more conservative (in no other way but in a relationship) and I'm more romantic than most men or women. I find myself looking for someone even when I've made it a point not to. I don't hit on women but I'm much friendlier than I've ever been in my life. I'm not desperate and I date much less than I could but I just feel like I should really be with someone, as fucked up as that sounds. I miss having someone around.
Now that I know who is or isn't suited for me it's easier to find but I find a lot of women that shouldn't be with anyone and are too immature or self involved to really date anyone seriously.
I feel so old. Looking for a ~stable~ ~monogamous~ relationship without the yelling, screaming and fucked up behind the back shit I've always been through. For the life of me I can't understand how I got into so many of those.
Don't worry, I'm not going to start picking out window treatments or anything. That's not my way.