Never Enough

Posted by new-all On 7:15 PM

I still know very few people in this town. I've had a few dates but few of them have panned out so to continue it further. I still see C quite frequently but our relationship hasn't progressed as I first envisioned. After she proposed we see other people while seeing each other we have become something more resembling intimate friends. Each week I spend nights at her place while she stops in after work and spends nights with me. Meanwhile she still is free to (and has) seen other people. I have as well but I'm not at this moment. I feel like there is a lot of other things I need to accomplish first. Meeting someone new will only take time away that I should be using to get back on my feet.
At first I thought I would be stuck with a lot of free time to kill since I didn't know anyone. Instead I'm spending most of it with her. She's my only real friend here and, other than my roommate, the only person I'm friendly with. The problem is C has a bad schedule. Most days she works starts early and gets off late at night. When she comes over she seems too tired to do much and I have to adjust my schedule to her. I enjoy her and I'm really close to her but it seems the most frequent thing we do together is sleep.
I have a friend in Boston, J, that I dated many years ago. She's become a close friend, someone I can really trust and the person I miss most since the move. J still has some feelings for me and I've had difficulty managing that as a friendship since we've stopped dating. It has ended a few relationships prematurely when girlfriends grew suspicious of our relationship so I've tried to shield her from my more personal life. Of course there's no reason to do that now since we don't even see each other but she has grown angry that our phone conversations have been getting cut short because I've been spending most of my time with C. Our last conversation ended badly after I was accused of being inconsiderate. Both of us said some things and hung up without reconciling. I know we'll speak again but I'm not pushing for it immediately. She is upset that I don't have time to talk with her on the phone as much as she would like.
I have an interview tomorrow which includes a test of HTML. I'm not worried about it, as HTML is very basic but I haven't kept in practice since I've been studying Javascript and I am trying to take some time to review it before tomorrow morning. The past two days have been a lot of studying and going over notes. C was working all yesterday but called very late last night after a bad day at work. I did all I could to console her today but I reserved tonight to study since I'll have to leave early tomorrow morning. Now she's upset with me for not being supportive though I've spent the majority of my free time with her. I understand this but my job search has really suffered since I've spent most of my time with her or on the phone or getting ready to see her. I need to just spend a few days on my own to get everything in gear.

On top of that my roommate and I are starting to get along better which means he wants to engage me in long meandering conversations that usually end with him yelling about religion. That's another thing I don't have time for.

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